愚人節(jié)的笑話篇一：愚人節(jié)笑話：伊拉克戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)

1、白宮記者招待會(huì)上：

布什先生，您有伊拉克擁有大規(guī)模殺傷性武器的證據(jù)嗎?

有，我們保留了伊拉克當(dāng)初買(mǎi)軍火時(shí)開(kāi)的支票。

2、美國(guó)人是多么富于進(jìn)取精神!薩達(dá)姆一宣布對(duì)炸死美軍士兵的人予以重獎(jiǎng)，他們馬上就開(kāi)始自相殘殺。

3、布什對(duì)美國(guó)人民說(shuō)：我們的飛機(jī)和平地轟炸他們的城市，敵人卻陰險(xiǎn)地進(jìn)行了攻擊。

4、布什緊急召開(kāi)其軍事顧問(wèn)：你為什么不在戰(zhàn)前警告我，在伊拉克除了沙漠之外還有城市?

5、英國(guó)拘捕俄羅斯金融寡頭別列佐夫斯基，是為了后者為繼續(xù)伊拉克戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)提供資金。

6、我真的不明白，為什么布什要和英國(guó)交戰(zhàn)，卻偏偏選中了伊拉克這塊地方?

7、您還相信國(guó)際法?您還不知道什么叫民主?您還在自力更生開(kāi)采石油?那么，我們飛過(guò)去幫助你們!

8、英美聯(lián)軍宣稱(chēng)已攻下烏姆蓋斯?fàn)柍沁@已經(jīng)是開(kāi)戰(zhàn)之來(lái)的第四座被聯(lián)軍攻下的烏姆蓋斯?fàn)柍橇恕?/p>

9、擊落美國(guó)飛機(jī)的伊拉克農(nóng)民在接受采訪時(shí)說(shuō)：飛機(jī)就在我的頭頂上飛：我瞄準(zhǔn)、射擊，便擊落了它!又飛過(guò)來(lái)一架飛機(jī)，我瞄準(zhǔn)、射擊，又把它打掉下來(lái)了。但是后來(lái)我槍里沒(méi)子彈了，可是飛機(jī)還在飛呀飛呀!

10、據(jù)后來(lái)通訊社報(bào)道，美國(guó)飛機(jī)投下了一枚核彈頭落入英軍基地。據(jù)美國(guó)五角大樓和英國(guó)國(guó)防部的高級(jí)官員透露，有七名英國(guó)軍人在這次意外事故中受傷。

11、五角大樓的軍事分析家證實(shí)，戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)將不會(huì)持續(xù)很長(zhǎng)時(shí)間如果伊拉克人停止參與這場(chǎng)戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)的話。

愚人節(jié)的笑話篇二：愚人節(jié)英語(yǔ)笑話

愚人節(jié)英語(yǔ)笑話

1. why are people tired on april fool's day? (愚人節(jié)人們?yōu)槭裁雌＞?)

答：because they have just had a long march. ( 因?yàn)樗麄儎傔^(guò)了長(zhǎng)長(zhǎng)的三月。march 三月;行軍)

2.what weather do mice and rats fear? (老鼠害怕什么天氣?)

答：when it's raining cats and dogs.(下大雨。rain cats and dogs 下大雨 )

3.when do dogs refuse to follow their masters? (狗什么時(shí)候不愿跟隨主人?)

答：when their masters go to the flea market.(主人去跳蚤市場(chǎng)時(shí)。flea 跳蚤 flea market 舊貨市場(chǎng) )

4.what question can never be answered by “yes”? (哪個(gè)問(wèn)題永遠(yuǎn)不能回答“是的”?)

答：are you asleep? (你睡著了嗎)

5.what tree is always very sad? (那種樹(shù)總是很傷心?)

答：weeping willow. ( 垂柳 weep哭泣 willow柳樹(shù))

6.when can you get water with a net? (什么時(shí)候可以用網(wǎng)兜裝水?) 答：when water is turned into ice. (當(dāng)水結(jié)成冰時(shí))

7.why is the pig always eating?豬為什么沒(méi)完沒(méi)了地吃?

答：he's making a hog of himself.它想成為一只肉豬。

8.what's the longest word in the world?世界上最長(zhǎng)的單詞是什么? 答：smiles. because there's a mile between the letter 's'.微笑。因?yàn)閮蓚�(gè)字母s中間隔了一里。

9.what question is that to which you must always answer "yes"? 什么問(wèn)題你只能回答“yes”?

答："what does y-e-s spell?" (當(dāng)別人問(wèn)你)“yes”怎么拼?

10.where were you when the power was cut off? 當(dāng)停電的時(shí)候你在哪? 答：in the darkness. 在黑暗中

愚人節(jié)的笑話篇三：十個(gè)愚人節(jié)經(jīng)典英文笑話 免費(fèi)下載

The Swiss Spaghetti Harvest

瑞士面條樹(shù)

spaghetti harvest1957: The respected BBC news show Panorama announced that thanks to a very mild winter and the virtual elimination of the dreaded

spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. It accompanied this announcement with footage of Swiss peasants pulling strands of spaghetti down from trees. Huge numbers of viewers were taken in. Many called the BBC wanting to know how they could grow their own spaghetti tree. To this the BBC

diplomatically replied, "place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best."

1957年愚人節(jié)BBC新聞中說(shuō)，瑞士的面條樹(shù)大豐收，農(nóng)民都在樹(shù)上收割面條。大量觀眾上當(dāng)受騙，打電話來(lái)咨詢(xún)面條樹(shù)的種植方法。BBC對(duì)此的回復(fù)是：把一根面條插在番茄醬里，然后就等著吧。

小編點(diǎn)評(píng)：面條樹(shù)都有人信，不知道搖錢(qián)樹(shù)有沒(méi)有人信？

Sidd Finch

虛擬棒球天才

Sidd Finch1985: Sports Illustrated published a story about a new rookie pitcher who planned to play for the Mets. His name was Sidd Finch, and he could reportedly throw a baseball at 168 mph with pinpoint accuracy. This was 65 mph faster than the previous record. Surprisingly, Sidd Finch had never even played the game before. Instead, he had mastered the "art of the pitch" in a Tibetan monastery under the guidance of the "great poet-saint Lama Milaraspa." Mets fans celebrated their teams' amazing luck at having found such a gifted player, and Sports Illustrated was flooded with requests for more information. In reality this legendary player only existed in the imagination of the author of the article, George Plimpton。

1985年愚人節(jié)，運(yùn)動(dòng)畫(huà)刊雜志發(fā)布一條假消息，稱(chēng)一個(gè)名為Sidd Finch的新人棒球投球手，能投出168mph時(shí)速的球，比當(dāng)時(shí)記錄高出65mph；而且這位

新人之前都沒(méi)有玩過(guò)棒球！他在一個(gè)西藏的寺廟里學(xué)會(huì)了投球的藝術(shù)。大批棒球粉絲因此被騙。其實(shí)這個(gè)只是文章作者瞎編的。

小編點(diǎn)評(píng)：要在中國(guó)，你說(shuō)男足出了一個(gè)天才，誰(shuí)信？

Instant Color TV

即時(shí)彩色電視

image1962: In 1962 there was only one tv channel in Sweden, and it broadcast in black and white. The

station's technical expert, Kjell Stensson, appeared on the news to announce that, thanks to a new technology, viewers could convert their existing sets to display color reception. All they had to do was pull a nylon stocking over their tv screen. Stensson proceeded to demonstrate the process. Thousands of people were taken in. Regular color broadcasts only commenced in Sweden on April 1, 1970.

1962年愚人節(jié)，當(dāng)時(shí)瑞典還只有一個(gè)電視頻道，

而且是黑白的。電視臺(tái)的技術(shù)人員當(dāng)天在新聞中說(shuō)，彩色電視已經(jīng)研發(fā)成功，用戶只需拿一雙尼龍襪蓋在電視屏幕上就行。還真有人信了。

小編點(diǎn)評(píng)：我如果說(shuō)，滬江網(wǎng)全面升級(jí)，成為全球第一家3D網(wǎng)站，你們信么？

The Taco Liberty Bell

塔可自由鐘

Taco Liberty Bell1996: The Taco Bell Corporation announced it had bought the Liberty Bell and was

renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell. Hundreds of outraged citizens called the National Historic Park in Philadelphia where the bell was housed to express their anger. Their nerves were only calmed when Taco Bell revealed, a few hours later, that it was all a practical joke. The best line of the day came when White House press secretary Mike McCurry was asked about the sale. Thinking on his feet, he responded that the Lincoln Memorial had also been sold. It would now be known, he said, as the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial。

1996年愚人節(jié)，塔可鐘快餐公司說(shuō)他們買(mǎi)下了美國(guó)費(fèi)城獨(dú)立廳的大鐘，并重命名為塔可自由鐘。憤怒的市民打電話給費(fèi)城的國(guó)家歷史公園，要求確認(rèn)這個(gè)消息。幾小時(shí)后塔可鐘快餐公司承認(rèn)這只是個(gè)玩笑。當(dāng)天最烏龍的事件(來(lái)自:www.91mayou.com 蒲公英文 摘:愚人節(jié)的笑話)還不在此。白宮記者會(huì)秘書(shū)Mike McCurry被問(wèn)到這件事時(shí)，隨機(jī)應(yīng)變回答說(shuō)，林肯紀(jì)念碑也被賣(mài)了，現(xiàn)在被命名為福特水星汽車(chē)紀(jì)念碑。

小編點(diǎn)評(píng)：這位秘書(shū)真有娛樂(lè)精神。咱也可以說(shuō)，張家界的“哈利路亞”山被外星人收購(gòu)了……

San Serriffe

虛擬國(guó)家

image1977: The British newspaper The Guardian published a special seven-page supplement devoted to San Serriffe, a small republic said to consist of several semi-colon-shaped islands located in the Indian Ocean. A series of articles affectionately described the geography and culture of this obscure nation. Its two main islands were named Upper Caisse and Lower Caisse. Its capital

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