英語小笑話帶翻譯篇一：英語小笑話(帶翻譯))

1 Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩：這個座位是空的么？ 女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也將是空的。 2，Boy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money. 男孩：我可以給你買杯飲料嗎？ 女孩：你不如直接把錢給我得了。 3. My little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不識字 布朗夫人：哦， 親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告��！ 布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認(rèn)識字。 ” 4.反正我太太明天會來換的My Wife Will Exchange ThemA gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves. ″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson. ″Makes no difference ? ″replied customer. ″What color﹖″ asked the clerk. ″Any″ he responded. ″Size﹖″ ″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow t o exchange them.″ 反正我太太明天會來換的 一位先生走進一家商店要買副手套。 “您是要布的還是皮的？”售貨員問。

“沒什么區(qū)別�！边@位顧客回答。 “那您要什么顏色的呢？”售貨員又問。 “什么顏色都成�！彼�回答。 “號碼呢？” “您就隨便給我拿一副吧，”這位顧客有點不耐煩了，“反正我太太明天都會來換的�！�5.A physics Examination Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his class mates were thinking it hard. The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thund er rolls? Nick‘s answer: Because our eyes are before ears. 一次物理考試 在一次物理考試時，當(dāng)同學(xué)們都還在苦思冥想時，尼克很快就答好了第一個問題。 這個問題是：為什么在打雷時，我們總是先看到閃電后聽到雷聲？ 尼克的回答是：因為眼睛在前，耳朵在后。 6. Jim’s History Examination Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination? Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him things that happened before the poor boy was born. 吉姆的歷史考試 舅舅：吉姆這孩子歷史考得怎么樣？ 母親：唉，糟透了�？稍捰终f回來，這也不能怪他。嗨，他們盡問一些這個可憐的孩子出生 前的事兒。 7.he is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do?

-- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一個大人物 -- 我叔叔下面有 1000 個人。 -- 他真是一個大人物。干什么的？ -- 墓地守墓人。 8 I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問，“發(fā)生了什么事？” “一個男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說。 “再見到他你能認(rèn)出來嗎？”媽媽問。 “他走到哪里我都能認(rèn)出他，”伊凡說�！八�的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢�！� 9 Three-year-old boy took a three-year-old girl's hand and said: "I love you." The little girl said: "can you get me for the future?" The little boy said: "of course can, we're not one or two years old!" 一個三歲小男孩拉著一個三歲小女孩的手說：“我愛你�！毙∨�孩說：“你能為我的未來負責(zé) 嗎？”小男孩說：“當(dāng)然能，我們都不是一兩歲的人了！ 10. Bedtime Prayers Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy." Her mother interrupted and said, "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?" And Julie replied, "Because that/’s what I put in my geography exam!" 睡前禱告詞 朱莉葉在做睡前禱告�！岸\告上帝，”她說，“讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都吧。讓那不勒斯 成為意大利的首都吧�！� 媽媽打斷她說：“朱莉葉，你為什么求上帝讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都呢？” 朱莉葉回答說：“因為我在地理考卷上是這么寫的�！�

英語小笑話帶翻譯篇二：短篇英語笑話10則帶翻譯

短篇英語笑話10則帶翻譯

① Goldfish金魚

Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

Fred: Where are you going to keep them?

Stan: In the bathroom 。

Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?

Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛） them!

=================================================================== 斯(來自:www.91mayou.com 蒲公 英文 摘:英語小笑話帶翻譯)丹：我贏了 92 條金魚。

弗雷德：你想在哪兒養(yǎng)它們？

斯丹：浴室。

弗雷德：但是你想洗澡時怎么辦？

斯丹：蒙住它們的眼睛！

② The Revenge 欺騙的代價

Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"

=================================================================== 老農(nóng)約翰遜就要死了。他的家人都站在床邊。他聲音低沉地對妻子說：“我死后，我想你嫁給農(nóng)夫瓊斯�！� 妻子說：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁給任何人�！� 約翰遜：“但我希望你這么做�！� 妻子：“為什么？” 約翰遜：“因為瓊斯曾在一筆販馬的交易中欺騙了我�！�

③ I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是一只雞

Psychiatrist: What's your problem?

Patient: I think I'm a chicken.

Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?

Patient: Ever since I was an egg!

=================================================================== 精神病醫(yī)師：你哪里不舒服？

病人：我認(rèn)為我是一只雞。

精神病醫(yī)師：這種情況從什么時候開始的？

病人：從我還是一只蛋的時候開始。

④ How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出來

Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?"

===================================================================

當(dāng)空中小姐給乘客們發(fā)口香糖的時候，她解釋說口香糖有助于他們防止耳鳴。飛機著陸后，一位乘客跑到這位空中小姐面前，說道：“ 我馬上就要見到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖從耳朵里面取出來呢？”

⑤ Where Am I 我在哪兒

An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside. He saw a farmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car and asked the farmer, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" "Yes, " the farmer looked at him strangely and said, "you are in your car, sir." =================================================================

一個英國人在鄉(xiāng)下開車時迷了路，他看見一個農(nóng)民正在附近的地里干活。于是他就把車開過去問那位農(nóng)民：“勞駕，您能告訴我我現(xiàn)在這是在哪兒嗎？” “可以�！鞭r(nóng)夫奇怪地看了看他，然后說道：“你現(xiàn)在在你的車子里，先生�！�

⑥ Why do you never phone me?你為什么不給我打電話？

Mrs Harris lives in a small village. Her husband is dead, but she has one son. He is twenty-one and his name is Geoff. He worked in the shop in the village and lived with his mother, but then he got work in a town and went ant lived there. Its name was Greensea. It was quite a long way from his mother's village, and she was not happy about this, but Geoff said, "There isn't any good work for me in the country, Mother, and I can get a lot of money in Greensea and send you some every week." Mrs Harris was very angry last Sunday. She got in a train and went to her son's house in Greensea. Then she said to him, "Geoff, why do you never phone me?" Geoff laughed. "But, Mother", he said, "you haven't got a phone." "No," she answered, "I haven't, but YOU'VE got one!"

====================================================================== 我會告訴你這篇沒有中文翻譯嗎。。。

⑦ The Same Action Yields the Same Result相同的投資相同的結(jié)果

A couple of hunters chartered a small plane to fly them to a forest, and made an appointment with the pilot to come back and fetch them in about two weeks. At the end of the two weeks, they had shot a lot of animals that they wanted to load onto the plane. But the pilot said, "This plane won't be able to take more than one wild buffalo. You'll have to leave the others behind." Then the hunters protested, saying, "But last year, another pilot with the same airplane let us take two buffalos and some other animals in the plane as well." So the new pilot thought about it. He was a little bit skeptical, but finally he said, "OK, since you did it last year, I guess this year we can do it again." Then he loaded the two buffalos and a few other animals in, and the plane took off. Five minutes later, it crashed in a neighboring area. The three men climbed out and looked around, and one hunter said to the other, "Where do you think we are now?" The second one surveyed the area and said, "I think we're about one mile to the left of the place we crashed last year."

====================================================================== 有兩個獵人包機前往一座森林，到了以后，他們和飛行員約定好兩周后來接。兩周后，他們射了許多動物，而且打算把這些動物全部搬上那架小飛機，可是飛行員說：“這架飛機除了

一頭野牛外，沒辦法再多載了。你們必須把其他的獵物都留下�！� 獵人說：“但是去年另一個飛行員開一樣的飛機，就讓我們帶兩只水牛，還有一些其他的動物上機！” 因為他們這樣抗議，所以那個新飛行員想了一想后，盡管還是有點存疑，最后還是妥協(xié)說：“好吧！如果去年可以做到，今年應(yīng)該也可以。”所以他裝了兩頭水牛和一些其他的動物。結(jié)果飛機起飛五分鐘后，就墜落在鄰近的地方。這3個人從飛機爬出來看了看四周，其中一個獵人對另一個說：“你認(rèn)為我們現(xiàn)在在哪兒？” 那個人瞧了一下，說：“我想大概距離去年墜機的地方西邊一英哩遠！”

⑧ Chief is at the wedding 長官在婚禮上

A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street.

"But officer," the man said, "I can explain."

"Just be quiet," snapped the officer."I'm going to put you in jail until the chief gets back."

"But ,officer, I …."

"I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"

A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "You are lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back." "Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm the groom."

====================================================================== 大街上的一個超速駕駛者被警察攔住了�！暗�是警官”這個人說道，“我可以解釋的”。 “保持安靜”，警察突然說道�！拔覍�把你送往監(jiān)獄，直到長官回來�！暗�是，警察，我，，，”。 “我說過了保持安靜，你要到監(jiān)獄了�！睅仔�時后，警察向監(jiān)獄里看了看說道“算你運氣好，因為我們的長官正在他女兒的婚禮上。他將帶著一個愉快的心情回來的�！� “你確定”在牢房里的這個人說道。“我就是新郎呀”。

⑨ Who Is the Laziest 誰最懶

Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?

Tom: I don't know, father.

Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?

Tom: Our teacher, father.

====================================================================== 父親：哎，湯姆，今天我跟你們老師談過，現(xiàn)在我想問你個問題。你們班上誰最懶？湯姆：我不知道，爸爸。父親：啊，不對，你知道！想想看，當(dāng)別的孩子們都在做作業(yè)、寫字時，誰在課堂上坐著，只是看人家做功課？湯姆：我們老師，爸爸。

⑩ Two Birds 兩只鳥

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

====================================================================== 老師： 這兒有兩只鳥，一只是麻雀。誰能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎？學(xué)生：我指不出，但我知道答案。老師：請說說看。學(xué)生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。

英語小笑話帶翻譯篇三：英語小笑話 帶翻譯

One day a person meet god ... ...

God suddenly decide to give the man a wish ... ...

God asked ... ...

What wishes do you have ... ...

The man thinking ... ...

Heard that cats have9 lives ... ...

Would you please give me9 lives ... ...

God said ... ...

Your wish come true ... ...

One day, the boring ... Want to say one death to die ... ...

There are9 life lying on the tracks ... ...

The results of a train in the past ... ...

The man was dead ... ...

Why is this?

Because the train compartment having10day ... ...

有個人一天碰到上帝......

上帝突然大發(fā)善心打算給那人一個愿望......

上帝問......

你有什么愿望嗎......

那個人想了想......

聽說貓都有9條命......

那請您賜給我9條命吧......

上帝說...... 你的愿望實現(xiàn)咯......

一天，那個人閑來無聊...... 想說去死一死算了......

反正有9條命嘛 就躺在鐵軌上......

結(jié)果一輛火車開過去......

那人還是死了......

這是為什么呢？

因為那列火車的車廂有10節(jié)......

Music class the teacher played a Beethoven song

Xiao Ming asked her:" do you understand music?"

Xiaohua:" yes"

Xiao Ming:" you know what teachers do in the shells?"

Xiaohua:" piano."

音樂課上 老師彈了一首貝多芬的曲子

小明問小華：“你懂音樂嗎？”

小華：“是的”

小明：“那你知道老師在彈什麼嗎？”

小華: “鋼琴�！�

Traveler: Can I catch the three o'clock train to Toronto?

Ticket agent: That depends on how fast you can run. It left fifteen minutes ago.

旅行者：我還能趕上3點鐘那班到多倫多的火車嗎？

售票員：那得看你跑得有多快�；疖�15分鐘前開出。

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