幽默的英語小故事篇一：小學(xué)生英語幽默故事(超全版,中英雙語)

Ten Candies

Mother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?”

“Ten.” Jim says.

“Then,” Mother asks.

“Yes, Mum. Four candles are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn?t it right?”

故事2 十塊糖

媽媽問兒子：“吉姆， 如果你有10塊糖，吃了4塊，那你還有幾塊糖？” “10塊�！奔�姆說。

“10塊？”媽媽問。

“是的，媽媽。因?yàn)?塊在我的肚子里面，6塊在肚子外面，4加6等于10，不對嗎？”

小學(xué)生英語故事

包括：幽默故事（1-7頁）、普通小故事（7-40頁）。激發(fā)小朋友們學(xué)英語的興趣，幫助他們提高成績。最好每天背一篇，會有不錯的效果的 O(∩_∩)O

英文幽默故事：

There was a guy who went into a shop to buy a parrot. There werethree par(轉(zhuǎn)載于:www.91mayou.com 蒲 公 英 文 摘:幽默的英語小故事)rots in the shop. One was $5,000; another one, $10,000; and the third one, $30,000. The customer asked the owner, “How come this guy is $5,000? That?s so expensive for this kindof parrot.” The owner said, “Because I have trained him and he can talk.” So the customer asked him, “How about this guy? What can he do that makes him so expensive?” The owner said, “Well, apart from talking, he can also do some amusing actions,like dancing and so on. That?s why he?s so expensive.” Then the customer said, “How about the third one? What canhe do that makes him so expensive?” The owner of the shopsaid, “I don?t know. Normally, I have never heard him talk, nor dance, nor whistle, nor sing, nothing at all! But the other two call him ?The Boss.?”

老板最大 有個人到一間商店買鸚鵡。店里有三只鸚鵡，其中一只賣五千元，另一只賣一萬元，還有一只賣三萬元。顧客問老板：「為什么這只要賣五千元？這個價錢對這種鸚鵡來說太貴了！」老板說：「因?yàn)槲矣杏?xùn)練他講話�！诡櫩陀謫枺骸改沁@只呢？他會做什么？為什么要賣這么貴？」老板說：「他除了會說話之外，還會表演一些有趣的動作，好比說跳舞等等，所以才賣這么貴�！诡櫩徒又�又問：「那第三只呢？他會做什么？為什么要賣這么貴？」老板說：「我不知道。我從沒聽過他講話、吹口哨或唱歌，也沒看過他跳舞，什么都沒有！不過另外兩只叫他：『老板！』」

Where is the egg?

Teacher:Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"?

Student:Yes.I ate a piece of cake yesterday.

Teacher:Then where is the “egg"?

Student:In the cake,Sir.

雞蛋在哪里？

老師：你能用“雞蛋”一詞造句嗎？

學(xué)生：可以。我昨天吃了一塊蛋糕。

老師：“雞蛋”在哪？

學(xué)生：在蛋糕里，先生

Tom is a little boy, and he is only seven years old. Once he goes to a cinema. It is the first time for him to do that. He buys a ticket and goes in. But after two or three minutes he comes out, and buys the second ticket and goes in again. After a few minutes he comes out again and buys the third ticket. Two or three minutes after that he comes out and asks for another ticket. But a girl asks him, “Why do you buy so many tickets? How many friends do you meet?” “No, I have no friends here, but a big woman always stops me at the door and cuts up my ticket.”

湯姆是個小孩， 他才7歲。 當(dāng)他去電影院的時候。那時他第一次去。他買了張票進(jìn)去了。 但沒過兩三分鐘他就出來了，然后買了第二張票又進(jìn)去了。 幾分鐘后他又出來買了第三張票。 接著兩三分鐘后他又出來買票。 一個女的問她，“你為什么要買那么多票啊? 你見到了幾個朋友？" "沒有， 我里面沒朋友， 但是每當(dāng)我進(jìn)門的時候一位大的女人老把我的票給剪了"

Child:My uncle has 1000 men under him.

Man:He is really somebody.What does do?

Child:A maintenance man in a cemetery

他真是一個大人物

小孩：我叔叔下面有1000個人。

男人：他真是一個大人物。他是干什么的？

小孩：墓地守墓人。

Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today?

Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.

一名偉人

老師：如果莎士比亞還活著，他會是一名偉人嗎？

學(xué)生：當(dāng)然。因?yàn)榈侥壳盀橹�，還沒有人活到400多歲。

Mr. Smith: Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup.

Waiter: Yes, sir, I know---it's the heat that kills it.

史密斯先生：服務(wù)員，我的湯里有一只死蒼蠅．

服務(wù)員：是的，先生，我知道了，它是被燙死的．

Son: Dad, give me a dime.

Father: Son, don't you think you're getting too big to be forever begging for dimes? Son: I guess you're right, Dad, Give me a dollar, will you?

兒子：爸爸，給我一角錢。

父親：兒子，你不認(rèn)為你已經(jīng)長大了，不該再老是一角一角地要錢了(該自立了)，不是嗎？

兒子：爸爸，我想你是對的，那給我一塊錢行嗎？

A little kid fell in love with another little kid, a school mate. Sometimes the kids think they fall in love when they have a crush on someone else in the class, when they?re eight or ten years old or something like that. So the eight-year-oldkid came back home and asked his father, “Father, is it expensive to be married?” And the father said, “Yes, son, it is very expensive.” So the son asked, “How much does it cost?” And the father said, “I don?t know, son. I?m still paying.”

有個小孩愛上了另一個小孩，對方是學(xué)校的同學(xué)。八歲或十歲左右的孩子有時會

迷戀班上某個人，然后就以為自己戀愛了。因此這個八歲的小孩回家問他爸爸：「爸爸，結(jié)婚很花錢嗎？」爸爸說：「是啊，兒子，非常花錢�！箖鹤佑謫枺骸敢�花多少錢呢？」爸爸說：「我不知道，兒子，我到現(xiàn)在還一直在付錢啊！」

"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?" "No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it."

“孩子，你為什么用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了嗎？”

“沒有，老師�？墒悄阕蛱煺f你告訴我的知識都是一個耳朵里進(jìn)，一個耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面�！�

“I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .”

“Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”

“Yes，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”

“對不起，夫人，為您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。”

“20美元！為什么？不是說好只要4美元�！�

“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四個病人嚇跑了。”

TWO： Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example?

John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short. 老師：我們都知道熱脹冷縮的道理�，F(xiàn)在，誰給我舉個例子？

約翰：嗯，在夏天天都長，在冬天天都短。

幽默的英語小故事篇二：英語幽默小故事集錦

英語幽默小故事集錦

約會

When the young waitress in the café in Tom's building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?"

"Why, yes," Tom replied, smiling at her broadly.

"So is my mom," she said. "Would you like to meet her?"約會

在湯姆工作的大樓里有一個咖啡屋，那兒總有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。湯姆有些受寵若驚，因?yàn)檫@位小姐看上去至少比他年輕15歲。一天她又對湯姆招手并示意湯姆過去。于是湯姆走了過去。她問道，“您現(xiàn)在是單身嗎？” “對，是單身，”湯姆滿臉堆笑的說。 “我母親也是，”她說，“您愿不愿意見見她？”

理所當(dāng)然

Taken for Granted

THE SCHOOL HEALTH FORMS had been distributed to the students with an error---the word "Sex" had been spelled with an "o". One mother, filling out the form for her son, wrote in the blank next to "Sox": "Usually brown."

理所當(dāng)然

某學(xué)校發(fā)給學(xué)生的健康調(diào)查表里有個錯別字——把“性別”的“性”字寫成了“襪”字。一位母親在為她的兒子填寫表格時，在“襪別”的那欄填上了：“棕色為主。”

[注] 英語 中sex（性）與sox（襪）只有一個字母之差。世界上最愛你的女人

Which woman?

One evening I drove my husband\'s car to the shopping mall.On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman

who loves you the

most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield."My husband looked up and said, "Mom\'s here?"

哪一位女人？

一天晚上我開著丈夫的車去購物，

回來后發(fā)現(xiàn)車身沾滿灰塵，于是擦洗了一陣。當(dāng)我終于走進(jìn)屋里時大聲喊：“世界上最愛你的女人剛擦洗了你的車燈和擋風(fēng)玻璃。”

我丈夫抬頭看了看，說：“媽媽來了？”

一只小貓

Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top.

" What\'s in your box?" asked the friend.

"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I\'ve been dreaming about mice at night and I\'m so scared! This cat is to catch them."

"But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend.

"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown.

布朗夫人去拜訪一位朋友，她拿著一個頂部扎滿了小眼兒的盒子。 “盒子里裝的是什么 ？”朋友問道。 “一只小貓，” 布朗夫人回答說，“你知道我晚上睡覺總夢見老鼠，我非常害怕。這只貓可以抓住那些老鼠�！� “可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友說。 “小貓也是假想的�！� 布朗夫人小聲說道。

My Wife Will Exchange Them Tomorrow

My Wife Will Exchange Them Tomorrow.

A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves. "Cloth of leather?" asked the salesperson.

"Makes no difference, "replied customer.

"What color?" asked the clerk.

"Any," he responded.

"Size?"

"Give me whatever you prefer," the gentleman said, slightlyexasperated. "My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them."反正我太太明天會來換的。

一位先生走進(jìn)一家商店要買付手套。

“您是要布的還是皮的？”售貨員問。

“沒什么區(qū)別。”這位顧客回答。

“那您要什么顏色的呢？”售貨員又問。

“什么顏色都成�！彼�回答。

“號碼呢？”

“您就隨便給我拿一付吧，”這位顧客有點(diǎn)不耐煩了，“反正我太太明天都會來換的�！�

幽默的英語小故事篇三：小學(xué)生英文幽默故事

貓和老鼠

Good afternoon my dear friends, I’m DingDing Pig. I will bring you a funny story about cat and mice.

Mrs. Brown went to visit one of her friends and carried a small box with holes punched in the top.

" What is it in your box?" asked the friend.

"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them."

"But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend.

Mrs Brown whispered,"So is the cat!" .

Thank you!

譯文

布朗夫人去拜訪一位朋友,她拿著一個頂部扎滿了小眼兒的盒子.

"盒子里裝的是什么?"朋友問道.

"一只小貓,"布朗夫人回答說，“你知道我晚上睡覺總夢見老鼠，我非常害怕。這只貓可以抓住那些老鼠."

"可老鼠都是假想的呀."朋友說.

"小貓也是假想的."布朗太太小聲說道.

The Crab and His Mother螃蟹和媽媽

Hello, everyone. I’m Kitty Pig. I’m glad to tell you a story about the crab and his mother.

"My child," said a Crab to her son, " why do you walk

so awkward? If you wish to make a good

appearance, you should go straight forward, and

not to one side as you do so constantly."

"I do wish to make a good appearance, Mamma" said the young Crab;

“and if you will show me how, I will try to walk straight forward."

"Why, this is the way, of course," said the mother,as she started off to the right, "No, this is the way,"said she, as she made another attempt, to the left.

The little Crab smiled :“When you learn to do it yourself, you can teach me!"

Thank you!

“我的孩子，”螃蟹媽媽對兒子說，“你怎么走起路來這么難看呢？要想看起來像模像樣,你就應(yīng)該徑直朝前走，而不是像你一樣總是朝一邊走�！�

“我真希望能像模像樣,媽媽.”小螃蟹說，”如果你能教我怎么做，我就會努力之朝前走.”

“哎呀，當(dāng)然了，就是這樣！”媽媽說著，一邊就開始朝右邊走。

“不，是這樣的啦！”她說，一邊又朝左邊來。

螃蟹笑了，說：“等你自己學(xué)會了再來教我吧！”然后，他就回去玩了。

我真高興I’m glad.

Hi, lovely boys and girls. I’m Pony Pig. My story must be the most interesting.

A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. "Now, children,"said she , "Has anyone of you ever make someone else glad?" "Yes,"said a small boy,"I've make someone glad yesterday."

"Well done. Who was that?"

"My granny."

"Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad."

"I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her for three hours. Then I said to her, 'Granny, I'm going home,' and she said, 'Well, I'm glad'!"

Thank you!

一個主日學(xué)校校的老師在對學(xué)生講使別人高興的重要性."聽著,孩子們"她說:"你們當(dāng)中有誰讓別人高興過?" "我,"一個小男孩說:"昨天我就使別人高興過." "做得好,是誰呢?" "我奶奶." "好孩子.現(xiàn)在告訴我們,你是怎樣使你奶奶高興的.""是這樣的,老師.我昨天去看她,在她那兒呆了三個小時.然后我跟她說:"奶奶,我要回家了."她說:"啊,我很高興!"

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